A solution to aircraft overcrowding.

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There has been a lot reports of travelers rage over the seat crowding by the airline bean counters. Now someone comes up with a seat lock to stop the hapless passenger ahead of them from reclining their seats.

I think that the airlines are missing something here. The old way of flying people does not lend its way to their problem of getting more passengers into the aluminum tube. I worked late through the night at a new plan for maximizing passengers on flights.

Kennels!

Yes! Just like the doggie kennels, the airlines should design people kennels. Each kennel could be the size of an average person, and everyone could take as much luggage aboard as they could get into the kennel with them and lock the door. Extra-large kennels could be sold for those needing or wanting the extra room. Of course, the airlines would need to charge more for the extra-large kennels so that they can keep the profits up. The kennels could be stacked six or seven high, and the luggage compartments on the aircraft could be removed. In addition, there wouldn’t be an aisle on the plane, nor any wasted room overhead since.

A small compartment in the kennel could hold an assortment of disposable bags that are designed to fit the average posterior for bathroom calls, and that would eliminate the wasted space restrooms take up.

The kennels would be loaded by baggage people, eliminating cabin crews entirely. The happy passenger could go to a special loading room that serves all the airlines, go through a thorough cavity search, x-rays and some charming harassment from the TSA, and then be loaded on a conveyer belt to an automatic waiting and sorting area until their flight is ready.

Of course, people would occasionally be sent to wrong destinations, but since they are already inspected and encaged, they could be quickly forwarded by the baggage handlers onward to their proper destination.

Passenger conflicts would be outdated because everyone is secure in their own space. Moreover, there are no stewards aboard to argue with. A complementary bag of peanuts would also be included in the small compartment. Of course, beverages and such would be a problem. Perhaps a self-service beverage cooler with credit card slot would take the place of serving carts.

I haven’t looked at every possible problem of course, but from a logistical standpoint, this is something that the profit savvy airlines should consider.

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